Revise an essay
I got some feedback , revise it by the prof ‘s comments!
Add about 1 page, make it 10 full pages.
And some sentences are repeating.
Please fix it.
1: Why is this crucial? This is not obvious.
2：This is actually an interesting argument and not obvious. If you are arguing that understanding the neuroscience of decisions can help us make better decisions.
3: I’m not sure this fits here because it seems like it needs a lot of textual support, perhaps its own paragraph.
4:Important – how does knowing this information help people make better decisions? This is crucial to support your thesis.
5: how does knowing this help people make better decisions?
6: Which studies? Cite them. v important to do this. this seems like a crucial point that should maybe come first before all the technical, anatomical neuroscience data.
7: You’ve mentioned this many times but not explained how knowing this is supposed to help.
9:It is really key to make the point that understanding the brain will help people make better decisions. You need to provide more textual support for this. Then in your analysis of specific findings, you need to show how this information could help people in their decision making.
Please finish on time , the pdf has all comments please check it carefully.
And do not forget to fix all repeating parts!
add to, edit, revised and perfect the stduents draft to make it A grade.
The decision neuroscience research is one of the most practical and advanced technological advancements of this century. It has incorporated various techniques of neuroscience as well as those of the social sciences to come up with adequate information and concepts. Generally, it is crucial to keep in mind that having a critical understanding of the neuroscience in decision making is the first step towards making the right decisions. This………………
APA 3388 words